Doing A High School Project About Mia Khalifa Takes GUTS

What a fucking move by this floppy haired kid! Lets grade the presentation.

Facts: B
A very brief glance at Mia’s Wikipedia page tells me that this kid did his research. Was it the absolute bare minimum on par with how much Pardon My Take researches each guest before they interview them? Sure. But that level of research made them the number 1 sports podcast in the universe.

However myself, and the class, would have loved to learn that Mia grew up playing lacrosse (CC: Jordie) and had a groundswell of support to become the US ambassador to Saudi Arabia.

Guts: A+

They say public speaking is tough. But public speaking about a porn star in high school while trying to keep a straight face is downright impossible. If you don’t morph into Jimmy Fallon and giggle like a little bitch from the jump, you are a star in my book. And this kid kept it together for as long as he could while his classmates started losing it.

The best part about this is that if the teacher called him out for making a project about a porn star, that teacher reveals him/herself as a porn guy/girl. All-time Mexican standoff. There is no way the teacher could have foreseen a kid named Gage dragging his huge cojones all over the classroom and putting the teacher in a pickle when class started. Especially when said kid looks like this:

And if the teacher doesn’t know who Mia Khalifa is, this kid probably gets a middle of the road grade for a middle of the road project while also becoming a legend amongst his classmates. Valedictorians get remembered but legends never die.

PowerPoint Presentation: C-

While I appreciate the bio information likely plucked off of Wikipedia, you gotta give me more, kid. First off, you cannot read straight off the PowerPoint. That’s Day 1 stuff when using the Microsoft Office Suite. If you want to read off of something, use word. Give me some transitions, maybe some sound, and make that slideshow come to life. I want to feel like I am watching Mia Khalifa’s work appear on screen.

Okay actually don’t do that. You will definitely be expelled immediately.

Anyway, Gage also loses points for the incorrect punctuation and information in the project. The name of Mia’s film is actually “Mia Khalifa Is Cumming For Dinner”, not Mia Khalifa is coming to dinner. The title should be capitalized, change “to” to “For” and we have the wrong cumming in there. Easy mistakes that spellcheck couldn’t have helped with and nothing to be shamed of. That being said, “One of my personal favorites is Mia Khalifa Is Coming To Dinner” is laugh out loud funny. Especially since it is apparently one of KMarko’s favorites as well. ISIS? Not so much.

Porn truly is the universal language and this scene in particular is the Rosetta stone. Unless you fight for ISIS.

Final Grade: A++++

PowerPoint Project SZN is incredible because the lights go out for the entire period and everyone in class can turn their brain on autopilot. Someone actually making something good, or more importantly entertaining, is a breath of fresh air while being strangled in the boringness of school. Good work by Gage and good work by the teacher that hopefully doesn’t send him to the principal’s office when this goes viral on the internet.

Now cue Mia Khalifa asking this kid to prom or some sort of other Mia Khalifa publicity stunt in 3…2…1…